Gifts can and do articulate emotion. How you give and what you give speaks a deliberate message to the person being gifted. Consider the proverbial fruitcake; once regarded as a valued holiday tradition, now typecast as a thoughtless present because it has acquired an unshakeable reputation as a generic and tactless souvenir.
In fact, even the most delicious fruitcake, created by a celebrated chef, can land unappreciated on its recipient simply because of its underlying connotation. On the other hand, to gift a friend who has an uncommon name with something personalized can convey tremendous forethought and attention. That gift doesn’t need to cost much, yet it communicates a great deal of consideration. To the lucky beneficiary, it says you took the time to select something momentous and unique to her.
The bestowing of presents on others has long been recognized as an expression of gratitude or affection and is practiced in most cultures. It is a language by which we communicate how we feel about another person with a symbolic object. Even in Biblical times, prophets honored God with gifts (usually some sort of an animal sacrifice, which thankfully, is not a popular practice present day).
Today, gifts are exchanged with loved ones and people with whom we wish to show some level of appreciation. But while gift giving is a popular and widespread custom, a number of people simply resent the fact they “have” to give holiday gifts simply because the season dictates so.
Just a few days ago a group of “anti-materialists” were protesting on bustling-with-buyers 5th Avenue in New York City, urging eager consumers to shun shopping this holiday season. They argue commercialism has reduced us to a greedy and money-oriented society. These dissenters say there are many nonmaterial ways by which we can extend our fondness for someone and not promote pervasive materialism. They claim the act of demonstrating affection should be expressed in a format devoid of physical goods.
True: Setting aside an afternoon to spend with a cherished friend, for example, can be of significant value. But it all depends on whether or not your friend considers time to be a particular “endowment.” You may consider hours spent with a friend to be meaningful, but if she’s a gift enthusiast, she’s going to be looking for something to unwrap or eat.
Yet, if you’re an avid proponent of a nonmaterial holiday (or if you’re just plain broke), you might offer an afternoon of babysitting so your friend can spend time alone, or you might want to take your pal on a lovely afternoon picnic with a basket full of yummy goodies you make yourself. One of our “savvy gals” offered to walk her neighbor’s dog every day for a week as a gift and it was a service very much appreciated. Keep in mind the meaning of a true gift is something given to someone to give pleasure or show gratitude, not to flex your unique financial aptitude.
But if you’re a die-hard gift-giver, one who believes holidays are opportunities to bless others with “stuff,” then enjoy the season and its tradition without being made to feel avaricious. The holidays are an opportune time to show others how much they mean to you, however you choose to do it. But remember to keep your gift heartfelt in order to make it meaningful to the recipient.
Many people enjoy this time of year and consider the fanfare magical and inspiring, and they relish the act of giving beautifully wrapped presents unconditionally. This is an admirable gesture, sure to be appreciated by friends and family. But if you choose to engage in celebrating the occasion with a material present, consider the following gift-related goofs and gaffes so as not to communicate the wrong message:
- If someone gives you a gift and you don’t have one to give in return, don’t excuse yourself to throw something together and pretend it was ready and waiting. People can usually detect this trick. Accept the offering with a grateful “thank you,” and if you were in fact planning to reciprocate but just haven’t had the chance, say so. “I’m behind on my shopping and haven’t had a minute to get yours yet,” is more sincere than throwing something together with no forethought or significance.
- Then there’s the age-old debate about re-gifting. Some people abhor the thought of giving away something given to them because it discredits the giver, while others believe the gift is theirs to use however they wish. And if it’s to give it away to someone else, then that’s perfectly reasonable. So if you ascribe to the re-gifting is permissible camp, just remember to remove the tag bearing your name before you give the item to someone else. There’s nothing more tacky than unwrapping a gift to find a note with the giver’s name as the intended recipient.
While on the subject of giving, it’s important to note that one previously considered faux pas has been transformed into a definitive “faux.” Gift cards, once considered an announcement of a giver’s lack of interest or attention, are now chic and desirable. These are essentially gift certificates gone glam, and given to one’s favorite store, they can be the most coveted holiday prize. Plus, the amount will go farther once those after-holiday sales launch. With so many retail options, gift cards give the gifted a chance to choose what she considers to be an appropriate gift. It frankly states: “I want you to enjoy buying whatsoever you choose or want most.”
And if you shunned holiday shopping in the past altogether because buying is complicated and malls are crowded, consider the ever-present cyber store! Taking the hassle out of holiday shopping, many people opt to do their buying online and having their gifts shipped right to their front door or directly to the recipient. Sellers are offering generous discounts now and you can take advantage of the free shipping promotions that are usually available. (Or, check out The Savvy Gal Store for a wide range of our own hand picked gift ideas and options!)
However you wish to express your affection, the upcoming six weeks are an ideal occasion to show and tell others you care about them. And whether you choose to express your holiday sentiments with a material gift or a symbolic act of service, you’ll enjoy this time of year more if you don’t lose sight of why you celebrate.
Whichever option you choose, may you enjoy a stress-free holiday filled with a sense of the significance of the season.