The Cool Communicator: Understanding The Incomprehensible ~ What do Men Want?

By Jacqueline Shaprow ~

They call us mysterious, but have you ever wondered what goes on within the minds of men? A casual discussion with a single male helped shed light on his interests, especially where it relates to women and relationships.

The following is an excerpt from an interview with a single male who has developed Grammy Award-Winning artists in his role as an Artists & Repertoire Executive, Producer, and Songwriter. He discusses what makes him most attracted to a woman, and what characteristics he would like his future fiancé and wife to possess.

Q. What do you do?

A. I work in A&R which is Artists and Repertoire…I do a number of things that are more than just studio sessions, like song writing and producing music.

Q. How old are you?

A. Mid-thirties.

Q. Have you been engaged before?

A. Never been engaged.

Q. How important is it that the women you marry earned a college degree?  And would it make you like a woman more if she had a graduate degree?

A. I feel like intellect is very important – especially if I plan on being serious with her. The woman I marry is going to spend a lot of time with our kids—and I feel like the more she knows, the better off my kids will be.

A college graduate would be great—and a graduate degree would be magnificent! At least then I would know that the mother of my children is an educated woman—and God forbid—if anything were to happen to me, then she could make intelligent decisions about how to proceed for the welfare of my kids.

Q. Is it important that a woman does domestic chores around your home?

A. I think that every man needs help at some point in his life, even when he says that he doesn’t. When a woman wants to come over and cook for you – that is amazing. It is nurturing. It helps your mental health and your physical health.

If I’m dating a woman and she comes to my house—and sees that something is wrong—and says, “You know what honey, I’m going to help you out, let me help you get things organized,” I think that’s a great thing to do!

Q. If a woman opens up her wallet on the first date and offers to pay, would you view this as a positive or as a negative?

A. If I asked you on a date— and said “let me take you out to dinner,” then I would like you to let me take you out to dinner.

Q. What do you expect out of marriage?

A. Happiness, absolute happiness.

Q. What are things that a woman could say, do, or wear on a first date that would make you want to ask her out on a second date?

A. If she had a pleasant smell—not necessarily an overpowering aroma, but something that was pleasant to the senses.

Q. What are things that a woman could say or do that are ‘date deal breakers’—I mean things that would absolutely make you not ask a woman out on a second date?

A. If she said “Well, my second husband used to…” – or if a woman has too many children.

Q. What’s too many children?

A. Any children that are not mine!

Q. Ok, how long do you think you should be in a relationship with a girl before she asks you to take it to the next level (i.e. move in together, get engaged, or get married)?

A. I think that if I’m dating someone and she feels a certain way about me, and she wants to say “You know what, what are we waiting for, why don’t we get married, you love me and I love you, and the hell with it”—that’s ok.  I love untraditional things!

Q. I know there’s no set formula, but how long would you say is appropriate?

A. I would say we should be dating for at least six months before I would like to have conversations about getting engaged or marriage.

Jacqueline Shaprow, J.D., earned a degree in Psychology from Yale University and has published articles in the Los Angeles Daily Journal, California Family Law Monthly, Awards Picks, Music Publications, and The Journal of Health Psychology (where her article ranked among the “50 Most Frequently Read Articles” in 2008 and 2009). Her writing has also been featured in a book by Kaplan Publications about the diversity of experiences among female lawyers and legal scholars in America. Her Psychology Study on Weight Stigma and Discrimination was published in a number of different languages and presented at the North American Association for the Study of Obesity. Her findings on Exercise Motivation and Behavior have been housed in University Libraries around the world, including the Ritsumeikan University in Japan and the Universidad de Madrid in Spain.

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