“She’s not the woman I fell in love with anymore,” men told me while collecting stories for Cherries Over Quicksand. Men described how they fall in love with the “whole package”, including her dreams and goals. They said they have learned that some women are just too giving to consider her goals before his goals. These men said they should have spoken up about her taking time to follow her own goals and should have helped out at more at home, for both their sakes (and the family’s sake) and most importantly for the sake of their steamy lifelong romance. Men supporting her dreams while she supports his; another step toward decades of romance, what a way to live!
Do you ever get the sense that he is constantly testing you? After three years, Joanne’s man, Richard, started telling her that he was not hungry just before dinner was to be served. Nightly, Joanne continued to cook their full dinner and arranged it beautifully but he hardly ever joined her at the table. She said it was not as though he needed to lose weight, but more as if he was looking for something to complain about.
When he did join her, he would grumble that he was too full while acting like a slug unable to reach the front door even if a championship quarterback was there to give him the game ball. Later, he developed a new symptom. He started to complain that taking a shower was just too much work and would fall into bed smelling like a sack of cow pies, even on a weekend when he’d only watched television all day.
Joanne finally decided to try to get down to the truth.
“Is something wrong?” Joanne asked her husband many times. He would always answer, “Nope.” Then she would hear him having a great time talking and joking about sports with his buddies on the phone. He definitely did not seem depressed, she was stumped.
She said it was like he had left her mentally, but was physically still in the house. Joanne was especially sad because she remembered how they both used to look forward to dinnertime to sit, share about their jobs, and laugh together. She did not know why he had become so cranky. She grew tired of wishing for the past.
Joanne finally started eating the foods she enjoyed; those that helped her keep her hot figure. Then, she just sashayed her hot self in a direction toward making her life’s dreams come true. She had much more time to devote to her own goals, now that she was not grocery shopping and planning meals.
Joanne started the party equipment rental business she had always wanted to develop and grew exceedingly happy with her new routine. She was surprised to find that he was actually impressed by her take charge actions. She witnessed his insulting attitude transform into adoring eyes that appreciated every minute she could spare.
Richard takes her to dinner now, more than when they first dated and they drink up each other’s words like the syllables taste better than the wine. If she suggests a new restaurant he makes the reservation and loves every minute of being seen with his hot woman.
He now buys food on his way home and fills the refrigerator before Joanne gets home, with the hope that she will prepare dinner for him.
Joanne said, “I can’t believe the change in him.” Now he lights up when she serves the same meals he used to whine about, as long as she dines with him. Of course, she is busy pursuing her own goals now, so sometimes he must fend for himself. She knows, for example, that he enjoys his hotdogs while watching a game on television when she’s not home, so he’s not hurting.
“I’ll tell you a secret,” whispered Joanne. “Because I never expected him to ever want to eat with me again, I was actually starting to crave more time for myself but this is so much better, especially because he never skips his nightly shower now!”
By following her dreams and loving her man their romance flourished; it gives hope to those of us who find spinach on our walls.
About the author:
Rhonda Ricardo is the author of Cherries Over Quicksand, freelance columnist for The Californian/North County Times, engaged to racecar driver Robert Broguiere and the mother of three adult children. Rhonda has been invited to join Welcome Home Troops by Founder/Executive Director Sue Rebar to entertain incoming troops facing the rising military divorce rates, and share her devotion to helping build strong families through her humorous relationship-saving stories.