Reprogram Yourself to Want the Right Things in Life

By Boni Oian

Many people think that something is wrong with them. Something may be wrong, but it is not with them. What’s wrong is that their mind/brain system is trying to subconsciously keep them in the state of mind they were in when they were a child: stuck in the same perceived wants, beliefs and needs.

Until we are two years of age our mind/brain system functions at a level called Theta, which is a very low frequency and makes the brain function much like a sponge, absorbing everything it sees, hears and feels. Between two and five years of age the mind/brain system moves into Alpha level. This level is a little higher but still absorbs information at a very high rate. Between five and seven years old the conversion to Beta frequency takes place and we stay at that Beta level primarily the rest of our lives.

The programmed systems we observed and absorbed at Theta and Alpha levels now have become our beliefs, points of views, and opinions and generate our habits, likes and dislikes. We usually don’t remember much about this time period let alone the internal conclusions we have made.

It’s great how our system works. If we actually liked the environment we were in when were 7-years old it would be perfect. Unfortunately, not all of us grew up in ideal circumstances. Some of us had abusive parents or siblings, violent neighborhoods, less than empowering teachers and church leaders that were not quite spiritual.

One of my students, Darlene, told me she was always making verbal jabs at her husband so he would get mad and hit her. Until she took my class, she didn’t realize that she associated being hit and called names with being loved. Her father hit her, her mother hit her, her grandparents hit her, her siblings hit her and of course they all loved her. Her dad’s pet name for her was slut — if she complained to her mom, her mom told her she deserved it. So naturally when her husband didn’t hit her or call her names when they were first married, she concluded he didn’t really love her. To get him to prove to her that he loved her, she had to get him mad enough to hit her or at least yell at her using hurtful names.

Thankfully we have re-programmable mind/brain systems. Like a computer that comes with bad programming, we can just change the default program ourselves. The best thing about this is that if we decide we don’t like the new program we have chosen or if we simply get tired of it, we can just change it again.

This is where life gets exciting! Now that you know it’s not you and that you can change things, the question becomes, “How?”

The first thing we have to determine before we can make any changes is which program we have in place. Second, we have to know what brain level our beliefs started on. Third we have to know what we want to replace them with.

The easiest way to start making changes is to start with the third step. Backwards as it may seem, the best way to get to the first and second step is deciding to how we want things to be different.

For example:

If you don’t like the place you live, decide to live in a place that’s the opposite: small, cramped dingy apartment/spacious, light home with a yard. If you don’t like the relationship you are in, decide what kind of relationship you would like to be in: inattentive, uncommunicative, draining relationship/joyous, loving, kind relationship.

Now when you decide on the new replacement, two things will happen. One: the mind/brain system will say, “That’s what you want,” and two: it will tell you why you can’t have it. The “why you can’t have it” has been programmed from either the Alpha level or Theta level.

Darlene decided to have a respectful, loving, kind and supportive relationship with her husband. As soon as she did, her inner voice said, “You will know if he really loves you if he doesn’t hit you or calls you names.” That’s when she realized the association she had with love.

Catching your “why you can’t have it” response right here is the most valuable thing you can do and is the key to changing the program.

Let’s say the “why you can’t have it” response to choosing to live in a spacious home with a big yard is “you can’t afford that.” Instead of agreeing, answer internally with a confident statement, “I know the money and the way will show up.” When Darlene chose to have a healthy, loving relationship with her husband, she might have gotten a response like, “You are not worthy of such a relationship.” If this was the case, she would need to immediately tell herself, “I am worthy and deserving.” Darlene decided that anytime her husband smiled at her she would tell herself that was his way of expressing love. It doesn’t sound like a stretch for most people, but for Darlene this was a huge breakthrough.

These statements have to be said with confidence, so practice in a mirror and look yourself in the eyes until you can say, “I am worthy and deserving,” and really feel like you are telling the truth.

Just knowing you can change your world and feel wonderful in that world is what most people are looking for. Now these are simple steps that don’t cost you anymore time than picking a movie and will start you on the road to having your life exactly how you design it instead of having to live within someone else’s design.


About the author

Boni Oian is a certified hypnotist with a specialty in Feeling Regressions and Past Life and is a teacher of the Akashic Records. Oian teaches Shamanic Journey work for sublevel healings, as well as a mini workshop for the Northeast Independent School District Community Education in San Antonio a couple times a year. Oian and her husband currently live in Boerne, Texas, where they manage a pottery studio, retail store and pottery school after moving it from San Antonio where it resided for 25 years. For more information on her new guide Claim Your Life, please visit