Coworker Etiquette: 101

Coworker interaction is an inevitable daily occurrence for the vast majority of the workforce. In large corporations, chances are good the relationships and perceptions between those who directly work together mirror those with others in the company. This could prove advantageous or detrimental to the future of the employee within the company.

A colleague does not have to be your friend to make the relationship work, however there must be a mutual respect for one another. There are always going to be individuals who one gets along with for one reason or another. This is a guide for the one thing you have perfect control over — yourself.

The following are some tips to keep the peace and your sanity.

Lesson 1: Coworker Communication

Communication will change based on the location of the team. Local and virtual teams will communicate differently than those who work in the same office (and it is important to recognize this and modify communications appropriately).

In person, people will respond first to nonverbal queues, then tone and actual words spoken. Over the phone, tone is most important followed by actual words. E-mail and instant messaging rely solely on words. With this in mind, it is necessary to watch jokes or playful stabs at people able to be misconstrued in a simple e-mail. For a virtual team, when in doubt, pick up the phone. With someone local, try to catch them vis-…-vis.

Lesson 2: Give Credit Where Credit is Due

Always acknowledge a teammate’s contribution. This could be something as simple as a thank-you. When they do something exceptional, mention it to the boss. E-mail works best, as it is a “tangible” element for them to refer back to at review time. Should you find someone else taking credit for an item Suzy mentioned last week, point out how great it was that Suzy thought of the particular idea and they were following up on it for her. Don’t let the work your peers do go unnoticed or be accounted for by someone else. Your coworkers will respect you for it.

Lesson 3: Admit When You Are Wrong

I confess I have a problem admitting when I am wrong, but I do it. More often than I’d like. We’re all human and at some point everyone will be wrong about something, just some more than others. It is so much easier to admit the faux pas up front and apologize. Do not get defensive. People will remember the mistake much longer when you are proven wrong as opposed to acknowledging and apologizing for it.

Lesson 4: Need Help? Ask.

Coworkers are generally happy to help out when they can on an as-needed basis. There are times when I am overloaded and a note from a coworker asking if she can help is welcome. This does not mean a task should be delegated for lack of visibility and potential accolades. Nor does it mean you should consistently ask for your peer’s assistance. Consistently requesting help indicates a meeting with the manager is necessary to look at the workload distribution across the group. Perhaps another coworker should be responsible for tasks currently on your list of to-dos. On the flip side, if a coworker asks you to cover a meeting for her, take detailed notes and drop her an e-mail.

Lesson 5: Tell a Colleague When They “Drop the Ball”

Pick your battles on this one, do not send them an e-mail every time you receive something from them using “their” instead of “they’re.” Save it for the moderate errors, such as missing an important e-mail or conference call. This does not mean if the boss is already beating them up over it you need to reiterate the slip. It does mean if you find a mistake a peer has made, point it out to her first and give her the opportunity to fix it before handing it over to the boss. Send her a gentle reminder that she may have missed the item. She may have a legitimate reason for doing so (i.e., the boss privately told her not to do it).

Lesson 6: Treat Them as a Peer

As coworkers, you are all on the same team working towards the same goal. Trying to place yourself in a position of authority, real or perceived, can quickly create conflict. To give a colleague a directive, such as telling them to “take a note” on a conference call, or make it appear your status is superior, like trying to stay on top of her current project to monitor her progress, when you both report to the same manager is unacceptable and will develop into a point of contention.

Lesson 7: Be Open

Be open to new ideas and change. Just because you have a documented process from three years ago on how to program the fax machine doesn’t mean it is still correct and maybe Wendy’s suggestion to update it is not off base.

Everything today changes quickly, from the technology tools to the clients. Be open to this change and accepting of your coworkers’ ideas on how to make everyone’s job smoother.

It really is important to create and maintain a healthy relationship with your coworkers, and have it built on respect for one another. Once you demonstrate your willingness to help them succeed, they will return the favor.