Successful and Safe Participation In Online Communities
Online communities, such as MySpace and Facebook, provide an outlet for discussion, debate and networking. There is a myriad of ways to connect to other people within the online world. However, the ability to communicate without seeing the recipient can often lead individuals to say and do things they would not do in an offline setting.
To enjoy the benefits of being in an online community, try to follow these tips.
Maintain anonymity. Do not reveal your address or telephone number. Most online communities have a private message system, which allows you to send personal messages to individual community members rather than posting for the entire community. Thus, you can reveal more personal information in a private email to an individual community member.
Never post anything in an online community you do not want to see repeated. Parry Aftab, an Internet privacy lawyer and the Executive Director of www.WiredSafety.org states, “don’t post anything you do not want your mother or boss to see.” What you write in an online community lives on forever. Though Web sites may go down, someone may copy your post to their personal computer and then forwarded the post on to others. Melissa from North Carolina, a member of an online community, experienced this situation firsthand. She posted a vent about problems with her neighbors in an online community. Someone within the online community sent to the post to her neighbors! This post created further friction between she and her neighbors with whom she already had a strained relationship.
Be courteous even when you disagree. Everyone has a valuable opinion. However, be aware: everyone will not agree with your opinion. Debate and disagreement is healthy, however, debates should be conducted in a courteous and noncombative manner. Name-calling, derogatory remarks and other unbecoming behaviors are not conducive ways to show disagreement with someone’s opinion. Aftab states one should “follow the golden rule … treat everyone the way you want to be treated.”
Be supportive and congratulatory. Online communities, just like “real life” communities, offer support and encouragement to each other. When members reveal achievements, disappointments or tragedies, you can offer sincere words of encouragement so they feel the support of their online community. Be cognitive of the fact that one day you may need support and encouragement for yourself.
Maintain confidences gained while in the community. If someone tells you something personal in nature, do not reveal this in the online communities unless you get the approval of the person. Developing meaningful friendships and relationships in online communities is great, however, like any relationship, lack of trust can destroy the connection. So, as Aftab states, “do not blab secrets online.”
Watch your tone. Written word often sounds different than spoken word. Some tones, especially sarcasm, do not translate well in written word. Try to read aloud your message prior to posting to ensure your tone does not seem condescending or hurtful.
Do not take everything personally. Being a member of an online community can be a wonderful experience; however, ruffled feathers can make the experience less than ideal. When someone makes a comment seemingly directed at you, try to respond in an inquiring rather than accusatory manner. The poster may not have it meant the post in the manner in which you took it.
Honor your online community. Membership has its privileges. Being a member of an online community is a privilege; so do not take your membership lightly. Your membership can be revoked for unbecoming behavior, such as name-calling, profanity and lewd remarks. Some online communities ban members temporarily for this type of behavior, while others invoke a permanent ban for unbecoming behavior. Do not allow a momentary lapse in judgment or anger prevent you from being part of an online community.
Maintain real-life connections. Devoting tremendous amounts of time to online communities can detract from your ability to connect with “real” people one-on-one. Limit the amount of time you spend online and try to stick to the limitation. If your online community is in your local area, arrange to meet some of your online friends offline for coffee, lunch or dinner. Face-to-face contact is important.
Have fun. Being a member of an online community can be a great experience. You have the opportunity to interact with people from different parts of the world who may have different perspectives. This interaction will help broaden your horizons. As Barbara Boudreaux, a Facebook user from Louisiana, states, “it’s a wonderful tool to reconnect with high school and foreign friends” with whom she wouldn’t otherwise keep contact.
Thus, online communities provide an opportunity to connect to those who share similar interests. Take advantage of the opportunity to be a part of an online community but participate in a safe and responsible manner.
Satyra Riggins is a freelance writer in Charlotte, NC. Satyra is a member of several online communities. When not online or writing, Satyra is a mother of two and a paralegal at a law firm in Charlotte. If you have any questions about this article, please contact Satyra at satyrariggins@aol.com.
Turning a Negative Employee Evaluation to Positive
You return to your office following your annual employee evaluation and you drop your head on your desk in disbelief. You are shell-shocked because you thought your employer was pleased with your work performance — but the evaluation you just received shows many areas for improvement.
So, how do you return to work without getting bogged down in anger and bitterness over the seemingly harsh words of the evaluation? Can you rebound from a negative employee evaluation to become an outstanding employee? The simple, resounding answer is … Yes you can!
Below you will find several strategies to assist you in moving past a negative employee evaluation to become an outstanding employee.
Take Accountability. Are you really surprised by the evaluation or did you know that you were not fulfilling your work obligations? Did you think no one noticed you were late more often than not? Did you spend an exuberate amount of time chatting with your friends and family on the telephone during work hours and you thought it went unobserved?
Try to look at the evaluation in an objective manner. Can you step outside your bruised ego and look at things from the perspective of your employer? Be accountable for your actions. Karen, a nurse from Texas who was later promoted to assistant nurse manager after rebounding from a negative evaluation, states, “my attitude was negative and I was not 100 percent a team player.” Karen was completely aware of the issue.
Deborah Brown, MBA, MSW, a career coach and president of D&B Consulting (www.dandbconsulting.com) offers the following accountability pointer for those receiving a negative evaluation. “Recognize that your behavior is not getting you what you want.” If you want a raise, a promotion, or more responsibilities in your position, you need to modify your actions and behaviors to achieve that goal. Hallie Crawford, Certified Career Coach and founder of Authentically Speaking (www.halliecrawford.com) urges those who have received negative evaluation to “be honest with yourself and try to be an objective observer.”
Solicit Periodic Reviews. Seek feedback from your supervisor on a regular basis. Periodic reviews following major projects will give you the ongoing feedback necessary to correct any areas of concern immediately. Keep the lines of communication open with your supervisor. If you have concerns about your performance, bring them to your supervisor’s attention immediately. Henry, a retired elementary school principal from Arkansas says he “provides ongoing feedback throughout the school year of any issues with my teachers.”
Ongoing feedback helps to prevent major issues later. Crawford encourages employees “to be proactive” and show your employer you are taking the evaluation seriously by soliciting ongoing feedback. Crawford stresses feedback following major projects as well as on any other projects you are given.
Solicit Mentors. Solicit mentors either within the company or from outside sources. Crawford encourages employees to “start with immediate supervisors when seeking mentors.” Though your immediate supervisor could be your perceived mentor, she may also be able to direct you to someone else who can also effectively serve as your mentor. However, Brown suggests the solicitation of mentors outside of your work environment since there may be “some difficulties with internal mentors.”
Plus, one may have difficulty in being mentored by the individual who gave them a negative evaluation. Career coaches are also a source of objective mentorship. Brown says career coaches can help you “practice how to handle” various work scenarios and also “help you talk through issues.” Since the career coach is an external mentor source, they may be able to provide an insight that someone internally may not be able to distinguish.
Keep Your Professionalism. Despite the initial anger, disappointment and bitterness, maintain your composure in the workplace following an evaluation. Brown strongly urges those receiving negative evaluations to “manage your emotions” and try to “distance” yourself from the evaluator for the near future. If possible, Brown recommends asking the supervisor to give you a few days to react or provide feedback on the evaluation rather than having to provide feedback immediately following the evaluation. This will give you time to calm down before you do or say something you might later regret. Being argumentative, name-calling, throwing tantrums, and a multitude of other unbecoming behavior may feel good at the time, but are not qualities of professional, working adults. Karen developed a “positive and professional demeanor” following her negative evaluation since she knew her evaluation was done to help her become a better employee.
Accept The Challenge. Use the negative aspects of the evaluation to challenge yourself to do better and look at it in a positive light. If your supervisor stated you don’t take initiative on projects, seek opportunities to show your initiative. Become the opposite of every negative aspect of your evaluation. Make yourself into an employee who is indispensable to the company. Karen made “changes for the better” and applied for a management position. She was promoted to assistant night nurse manager. The question of her prior negative evaluation surfaced during the interview process for the management position. However Karen informed the interviewers that she “learned my lesson and I have a new attitude and a new way of thinking.” Crawford offers the following adage: “Your perspective on what happens to you creates your reality.” You can change the negative implications of your evaluation for the better.
Seek New Position, If Necessary. The evaluation may indicate you may not be in a position best fitted for your skill sets or where you can best succeed. Brown suggests, “find a job where you can excel.” This may require seeking a different position within the company or seeking a new position at another company. Crawford concurs, “you might need to move on because you may not be the right fit” for the company.
An employee evaluation is static. The evaluation is for a specific time period. However, the evaluation does not have to be a self-fulfilling prophecy for the remainder of your time at your company. You can rebound and become an outstanding employee. Do not be discouraged. Use the negative employee evaluation to challenge and inspire you to achieve your full potential as an employee. You can do it!
Satyra Riggins is a freelance writer from Charlotte, NC. When she is not writing, Satyra is a paralegal at a large law firm in Charlotte. If you have any questions about this article, please contact Satyra at satyrariggins@aol.com


