Kimberly Kimble Gast: Saving Lives Through the Loss of Her Own
Many have heard, or maybe even received a warning e-mail, with one of the many versions of the old urban legend — a traveler wakes up in a bathtub filled with ice, and realizes they have been drugged and one of their kidneys is missing, stolen by organ thieves. The 2002 film “Dirty Pretty Things” told the tale of freedom obtained via illegally obtained organs, all of which conjure up negative connotations about organ donation.
April is Donate Life month; and many work to dispel these myths. Many work to educate that the idea of organ donation should not be equated with negative ideas. Truth of the matter is, per the Donate Life Web site, more than 100,000 men, women and children await organ transplants across the nation to save their lives.
“With every decision to donate, an average of at least three lives hang in the balance,” said Bryan Stewart, director of communication for OneLegacy, a federally recognized organ procurement organization, serving seven Southern California counties.
In the fall of 2003, a young girl, Kimberly Kimble Gast, 15, was killed in a car crash in which she received a blow to the temple. She was an organ donor; five of her organs saved four lives.
Starting her sophomore year and a captain of her junior varsity cheerleading team at Agoura High School, in Agoura Calif., Gast was hit by a driver with a .24 blood alcohol level — three times the legal limit. Two others were also killed in the accident, and six were seriously or moderately injured.
Gast had been living with guardians at the time, whom she knew quite well, as her mother had passed away several months earlier. Because of Gast’s disappointment over her mother not being able to donate her own organs, the young girl’s loved ones knew that her wishes were to donate.
“Everyone pretty much knew her wishes … the decision was simpler than it normally would be during this difficult time … ” Michael Murrie, guardian of Gast with his wife Jackie, said.
“When we got the call and I was told she was in a coma,” her sister Erin Calderon said, “I knew she would die. My mom was in a coma and then she died … we never questioned we would donate,” Calderon said. “My sister said that she wanted to help people.”
In December 2003, Murrie sent letters to Gast’s organ recipients, and over the following months, anonymous letters were exchanged. The Murries and Calderon met one of the four recipients, Gina.
“Meeting her made me feel like my sister blessed their family involuntarily through this,” Calderon said. “I was so grateful that Gina’s kids didn’t have to go through what me, my sister and brother went through losing our mom.”
Murrie concurred: “It turned out to be one of the greatest comforts of the whole process … that her death was not completely in vain. Others are enjoying life because of [Kim].”
It is rare for meetings between donor families and recipients to take place; less than two percent of families meet each other. The parties can meet only after a series of anonymous letter exchanges followed by an analysis on a case-by-case basis by a federally recognized organ procurement organization.
Stewart explained, “Initially, anonymity is maintained because it is an emotional time for both sides. A family knows they did the right thing, but may choose to close that chapter — they may or may not want to be part of a new life. And there may be a certain amount of guilt from those that received the organs.”
If both sides decide to meet and are psychologically determined to be able, a meeting is facilitated. “Meeting is a deeply and profoundly emotional experience. Both parties must be ready to embrace the relationship,” Stewart said.
Eventually all the recipients wanted to meet — and in the interim, during the summer of 2005, the group was approached to be part of a reality series pilot to air on Bravo. Everyone decided to wait to meet on the pilot, yet network delays during the planning stages delayed their meeting. But, they continued to wait for the show.
“I was holding out with hope for the story to be told to a broad audience,” Murrie said. “I was willing to wait under those circumstances. It is an important story; it’s a story of faith — how God makes good out of bad — and of organ donation awareness.”
Murrie said he wanted people to see who Gast was. “Most powerful was how resilient she was dealing with the problems with her mom’s illness and disabilities, the money problems and the stress,” Murrie said.
The group did eventually meet and the pilot was filmed. Calderon, although grateful for the process, said, “The one thing I wish they showed more of was how my sister died. She died because some idiot decided he could drink and drive — it’s not okay to have 20 beers and get into a car.”
But the whole process, she said is a testimony on how great people and God can be. “My sister loved to be the center of attention,” she said with a laugh. “She was such a ham, so I knew she would have wanted to be part of the show.”
The show took the viewers through all the emotions of each recipient’s story. “I learned things I didn’t know about them and their conditions. I didn’t realize how sick one recipient really was,” Murrie said.
Both Calderon and the Murries said that meeting the other recipients was uplifting. In the pilot, each recipient talked of “feeling” Gast, and they are grateful for the decision she made. The man who received her kidneys talked about slight feelings of sensations at his kidney, and was told it was normal to feel those. He looks at it as a reminder of her life.
“I bet that’s Kim, telling me she’s there,” he said.
During the show, Calderon was thanked for saving lives. But she says, “My sister saved lives. No one is a hero but Kim.”
After completion of filming, NBC decided not to air the pilot.
“I won’t even try to speculate about that,” Murrie said.
Both Murrie and Calderon were grateful to meet all the recipients, and said they would continue to maintain contact. “They have questions about Kim; I still have a lot I want to learn,” he said.
In a time when an organ donation decision needs to be made quickly, family members often times don’t know the wishes of a loved one. However, 15-year-old Kimberly Kimble Gast had made her wishes known before her unexpected death. She saved lives through the loss of her own.
Additional information about organ donation:
Stewart said one of the myths that exist about organ donation is that people believe that doctors will not work as hard to save them if they are registered organ donors. “It is two different processes,” he explained.
A patient is first pronounced brain dead by a medical team, as Gast was. Then an organ procurement organization is contacted to work with families for transplant procedures. “People feel that donation happens more often than it does,” Stewart said. “Only 1 percent of all deaths are under the condition of brain death.”
If the heart stops, there is no blood or oxygen pumping to the organs to keep them alive for donor eligibility; but when the brain is dead, the heart doesn’t stop pumping blood.
Stewart said additional myths include religious beliefs, “yet every major religion supports it [organ donation].”
Others believe that only the rich and famous are at the top of the waiting list. “The top of the list is urgency of need and length of time already waited, along with other medical criteria,” Stewart said.
“And the power of the media,” Stewart said, “is much stronger,” even with how hard organ procurement organizations work to dispel misconceptions. “Our hope is that viewers see it as fiction, not reality.”
Additional Facts (per Donate Life Web site):
- Anyone can be a potential donor regardless of age, race or medical history.
- There is no cost to the donor or their family for organ or tissue donation.
- Signing a donor card and a driver’s license with an “organ donor” designation may not satisfy your state’s requirements to become a donor. Be certain to take the necessary steps within in your own state to be a donor and ensure that your family understands your wishes.
A Management Must: Document, Document, Document
One of the best things you can do for your company and your employees is to provide honest, documented feedback to the people who work for you. It’s important for at least two reasons: one, you help employees to personally improve and two, you help your company to receive the best performance a person has to give.
But it is also important to document for legal purposes, should you need to provide information in case of an unfortunate lawsuit. But while you want to be thorough in documenting behavior for record-keeping purposes, the sole purpose should be to provide feedback to better the employee.
When a subordinate’s performance is not meeting expectations, the first time you bring it up to that person, have a verbal conversation. But document the verbal discussion somewhere. Tuck it away in case down the road you need to give a formal written documentation to the said employee; you will want to reference the verbal.
When you need to write of an incident, here are some helpful tips for documentation:
1. Write the documentation as a memo addressed to the particular employee. Include the current date and title it as “job performance.”
2. The feedback should be written thoroughly. As an HR Consultant, I tell managers to write the documentation assuming the papers will end up in court while they’re out of the country and won’t be able to clarify any of the details. (True story, actually; I learned this lesson the hard way. I had a manager write up an employee and eventually terminate the person. During the unemployment hearing, the manager was in Europe on vacation and the write-up, being so vague, needed much explanation. So now I tell people “write the documentation like you’ll be in Europe.”)
3. It is important to keep it fact-oriented; personal feelings shouldn’t enter. Be precise with specific dates, times, other people involved, etc. If a specific company policy was violated, write out the policy and what particular action taken by the employee was in violation. If the company lost money because of an incident, write how much the financial loss was due to the action (or inaction) on the employee’s part.
4. Bullet point the issue(s). Then elaborate on each bullet point. Make it as clear as possible.
5. Every time you talk with an employee about a particular issue, it should be documented somewhere. It doesn’t need to be a formal write-up; have a verbal coaching session and keep the information logged in a notebook. But when it comes time to do the formal write-up, as we are reviewing here, you will be able to include other dates and times that conversations have taken place about the same issue(s). This also helps clarify to the employee that you are noting her behavior, and you’re reminding her that there has been more than one instance; also should it ever proceed to court, you’re alerting jurors that you didn’t just start writing someone up — you had verbal conversations first.
Should you decide to terminate the employee’s position, you have built your case through documentation and written record keeping. I once terminated an employee for being two minutes late to work. That statement alone sounds pretty harsh. However, I had kept records of every time I had a verbal conversation with the employee about her tardiness. Then when it turned to written documentation, I wrote all the date and times of the conversations into the formal write-up with the list of the dates and times she was tardy. On the second written document, I wrote the date of the first written document. I won the case because I had shown that there was an extensive track record of tardiness. That two minutes was relative in a long list of conversations and tardies.
6. State in what time period you need to see improvement. While it is natural to say you want improvement within 30, 60 or 90 days … what you actually want to write is “Immediate and consistent.” Otherwise, it is almost as if you’re giving the employee another 29 days to be “mediocre” because technically, you did give them 30 days to straighten up. You want immediate improvement and you want it to be consistent. You can tell them you will re-review them in 30, 60 or 90 days with a written document (and then be sure to follow-up), but the behavior itself — that needs to improve right away.
7. State the consequences of what will happen should the employee not correct the behavior. Standard terminology is, “… will result in further disciplinary action up to and including termination.” Most professionals don’t recommend termination (unless for stealing, ethical violations, dishonesty, etc.) without three formal written documents. If this is the 2nd or 3rd written documentation and you want to be able to terminate next go-round, write as a consequence: “should the behavior happen again, termination may occur.” Now, I know you’d love to write: “will occur” … but don’t back yourself into a corner. Maybe that gal that is always late is tardy one day and her last write-up said, “next time you will be terminated.” But what if she’s late due to a true emergency. Well, you’re probably not going to fire her, so you’ll let it slide. But now suddenly, you’ve opened the can to say, “will” may not always mean “will.” So what about the next time? Play it safe, and use the words “can” or “may” … you’ll still be able to terminate (and keep credibility).
8. The employee should sign the document. If she doesn’t want to sign it, ask her to write that she doesn’t want to sign it. That’s what we call a little HR trick. Should the matter end up in court, you will want to prove that she saw this write up. And if she signs, well that’s easy. But if she doesn’t sign, that becomes a little muddy. But if she is signing that she doesn’t want to sign, well, you get the drift …
9. Have the employee write for herself how she will correct the behavior. The employee that is always late … don’t just let her write that she will “be on time.” She needs to write what she will do to be on time. Will she make different arrangements to get up earlier, to leave earlier for work, etc. Obviously you can’t monitor that, but it is more about getting the employee to recognize ownership to fix the problem.
One last little tip I give to managers: don’t edit your first draft. Sit down and write everything you want to write about the employee. Let it all spill out. Then go back and edit. This is best for a couple of reasons: usually when you write someone up, you do have emotion running through you. If you first write and let it all out, then when you edit, the emotion isn’t hindering getting the facts onto paper. Also, you can then go back with a clear head the next day and add any missing facts.
When delivering any kind of coaching, feedback, documentation, performance appraisal, the ultimate goal is to bring to the employee’s attention a behavior that is keeping her from achieving complete success. This is a kind process. Yes, you may be frustrated, but it is ultimately to help the employee, which thus helps the business. So when talking with employees about this, I recommend (and have found it to be quite successful) to sit with the employee without any barriers between you. Don’t sit with a desk or table in between you. Sit on the same side of a desk and be a partner with that person.
I was given this advice many years ago and now do this often — especially after one manager told me that it made all the difference. Her performance wasn’t up to par. I came from around my desk, sat on the same side, delivered some bad news about her performance, asked her to improve and we came up with solutions together. Months later, after she was back on track, she confided that it felt less disciplinary and more coaching due to the way we sat together to work on her performance. She is now a several-time promoted manager in the company doing quite well.
All of this formal documentation process refers to the basics of job performance. If there is an allegation about harassment or other violation, an investigation needs to occur first before giving documentation. While most states are “employ at-will,” meaning you can terminate anyone at any time, it is best to have the back up of written documentation. Documentation also allows you to fight unemployment monies, if your state allows you to, should that be something you want to pursue. And, even with “at-will” status, employees can still file “unlawful termination,” so it is best to protect yourself with a paper trail. Proper documentation goes a long way …
Ultimately, if you think it is a dicey situation: i.e., you’re firing without proper documentation, you’re firing someone of a protected race, class, age group, etc. or you just have questions, use caution and consult a lawyer. This is not meant to substitute for legal advice.
A Little Vino — A Lot of Fun: A Wine Getaway
Wine may be the initial attraction, but rolling hills, beautiful scenery, lavender crops and even ostriches are sights to behold in the beautiful wine country of the Santa Ynez Valley, just north of Los Angeles, California.
The area has gained notoriety for being the backdrop of the movie “Sideways,” but even with the flush of tourism that now abounds, it is still a wonderful getaway. Whether a first time visitor or a Valley veteran, there is a myriad of opportunities to experience fun, food and fine wine. Recently having spent four days with a friend in wonderful wine land, we found these sights, tastings and food fares well worth mentioning.
As we arrived in Los Olivos on a Thursday afternoon, we found Fess Parker’s Wine Country Inn on the quaint little street of Grand Avenue where we rested our heads for the next three evenings. A large room with fresh daisies, a fireplace, wet bar and a delightful wall of shuttered windows was luxury with neighborhood hospitality.
For dinner, the Wine Cask restaurant at the hotel served up freshly flown in Alaskan halibut that was unbelievably scrumptious. Desserts of flourless chocolate cake and creme brule may sound run-of-the-mill — but this “mill” was mouthwateringly good, and the service was excellent.
A wonderful way to spend an afternoon, which we did the next day, is just down the road at Clairmont Lavender Farm. The farm is five acres of naturally organic lavender plant. Especially nifty is the large distilling tank (reminiscent of a moonshine-making contraption) greets you on the grounds, making it able to view how lavender oil is made as it drips into glass bottles.
The farm lets you bring a picnic lunch and eat on the grounds. (The beauty of the farm, while visible all year round, is most evident in June and July when the five acres are in full purple bloom, as seen in the picture above, should you be planning a future getaway …) Lunch from Los Olivos Grocery Store is a delicious must. It has the best sandwiches, produce and selection of hot foods to make the afternoon’s picnic a delight for your stomach. If you decide to eat lunch after the visit to purple heaven, the grocery store has a lovely little porch for eating meals.
The main strip in Los Olivos, Grand Avenue, offers small shops, art galleries and the charming Spa Vigne. A solid theory (in my opinion) is to be prepared for the adventures in wine tasting; a relaxed body will allow the taste buds to do their thing.
In keeping with the vino atmosphere, the “Pleasures of the Vine” package at the spa leaves the skin utterly smooth and glowing. “Pleasure” doesn’t even begin to describe all that’s included: The Wine Infusion Body Wrap, the Harvest Crush massage with cabernet grapeseeds, the Grapeseed Massage and a custom facial with the spa’s own botanical products. Wonderful and definitely relaxing!
When it comes time to eat dinner again, the Los Olivos Cafe Wine Merchant is a great place to go. (It was the restaurant in the movie “Sideways,” in the scene where Miles says, “I am not drinking Merlot.”) The menu offers what the characters had for dinner, but there are so many more delicious items to try, especially the Cafe Baked Brie appetizer — amazing. Also on the menu, founder Sam Marmorstein offers his own tasty and award-winning wines.
Oh yes, the wine tasting … that was our next day — and we tasted in style. We drove to Solvang where we took the limo tour by Vin Dal Limousine (Vin Dal means “wine valley”). The tour was offered through our hotel where we stayed our last evening, Wine Valley Inn & Cottages, which rents beautiful rooms and private cottages. The limo tour included trips to four wineries: Mosby, Rusak, Bridelwood and Sunstone.
The tasting room at Mosby has a generous counter to taste wines and, aside from the delicious vino (with which we left with three bottles), the award-winning labels are absolutely beautiful, too.
Rusak’s tasting room is adjacent to a big redwood patio porch, shaded by four gorgeous oak trees. The winery, just past the Horse Whisperer’s farm, invites visitors to bring a picnic and enjoy a lovely view.
Bridlewood Estate Winery has its own unique look with mission-style architecture and lush greenery landscaping. A narrow deck seating area hugs the outside of the building and provides a quiet serene place to relax. Here we munched on lunch, provided by the limo tour.
Our last stop, Sunstone Vineyards and Winery, was like a little picturesque piece out of Tuscany. The tasting room was tucked into an Italian-like architectural stone building. Wine barrels line the far back wall of the room, adding an authentic feel. (And, of course, we didn’t escape without purchasing some vino from each winery.)
Obviously, there are many wineries throughout the area. There are no lack of tastings in every nook and cranny of the towns. The Firestone Vineyard we did on our own, which was huge, was crowded and lots of fun. The tasters were lively and friendly. We also visited many others that were off the beaten path.
When we ventured back into the little town of Solvang, we were able to appreciate the Danish capital of America. Just like Copenhagen, this little town also has a little mermaid statue welcoming visitors, along with windmills throughout. There’s much to see and lots of yummy bakeries along the way.
Additional sights to see while in the area (the Valley is compact, so all of the sites and towns are within a half hour of each other): Ostrich Land in Buellton — the birds are funny to watch and the longer you look, the funnier they become. Then, there’s this little known place of Nojoqui Falls County Park, which is worth the 15-minute drive from Solvang. There’s a beautiful 164-foot waterfall after just a small little hike into the park. And, of course, most people recommend dinner at the Hitching Post in Buellton (also seen in the movie).
There’s a carriage and buggy museum, a miniature horse farm, a gambling casino and lots more in the land of wine tasting. So it’s no trouble to “pace yourself” along the way!
Contact Information:
Santa Ynez Visitors Association: www.syvva.com
“Your Position Has Been Terminated …”
When we work in a larger company and have the assistance of the Human Resource department, getting advice and terminating employees who are poor performers is a bit easier (for the lack of a better word) to acquire.
But many who work in smaller offices have to figure it out as they go. The good news is that smaller companies don’t have as many restrictions as large companies (check with your own individual state government’s employment Web sites for specifics). However, there are still some general rules of thumb — whether legally restricted or not — that are just good professional etiquette to follow.
The first order on the agenda to determine if you can fire someone for poor performance is to document, document, document. (I say poor performance, because stealing, violating ethical codes, etc. are givens to termination. And, harassment may need investigations first.)
Keep track of all behavior — good or bad — but especially the bad. Performance Appraisals are one way of doing so. However, a trap that a smaller company has a tendency to fall into is that performance appraisals aren’t always the most honest because of the family-like atmosphere. As an HR consultant, I constantly go into offices that tell me they can’t be totally honest because they need the employee and they don’t want to make the person mad.
I’m a big advocate of a rewards system over one of punishment. So, let me just say I’m not suggesting rolling out the big, bad mean machine and advising to just tell people about all of their bad qualities. What I am saying is to be honest with people — for two reasons. One, you help them to personally be better and two, you help your company.
The reason you help your company is because you’ll get them to be more productive, but you’ll also protect yourself should you need to unfortunately terminate someone down the road. It can come back to haunt you when you can show nothing but a great performance appraisal because you didn’t want to “make the person mad.” (And with the right communication style, those “bads” aren’t really bads, they’re tips to springboard to better!)
And, the other thing is that the performance appraisal won’t be filled with bads if you’ve been honest with the person throughout the year.
Which brings me back to document, document, document. If / when you do want to terminate someone, make sure you have the paper trail to back up the decision. Before anyone says it, I’ll say it first — yes, most states are “employ at-will” states. Meaning you can terminate anyone at any time (assuming there are not contractor contracts, etc). However, that doesn’t usually stop quite a few ex-employees from filing cases against companies crying discrimination, unlawful firing or “suddenly remembering” a harassment incident they “just never reported.”
If you document performance as you go, you can show anything that has happened, any conversations along the way. The key, though, is to make sure the documentation is extremely detailed. (More on writing documentation will be covered next week.)
So, for our purposes here, let’s say you have all the necessary reasons and documentation to terminate a poor performer. How do you do it? Here are some quick tips:
1. You should tell the person right in the beginning of the conversation. “Jane, I’ve brought you in today to tell you that based on your past performance, you leave me no choice but to terminate your position with the company. And let me give you more specific reasons why …”
By telling the person in the beginning, rather than at the end of the conversation, they aren’t spending the entire time of the conversation trying to figure out if they’re terminated versus listening to what you are saying.
Also — you don’t give their adrenaline an opportunity to burst; you don’t want to give them an opportunity to become enraged as they sit there and listen. By telling the person in the beginning of the conversation, they are shocked and they are more apt to listen rather than lose control.
2. Stay firm. Do not waver. Don’t go into a termination conversation being one foot in, one foot out. If you give in and don’t fire the person, you’ll only eventually fire the person later, but after a lot more headaches. When I first started my HR career more than 10 years ago, I made my one and only mistake of wavering. I fell for tears. She was “a single mother;” she would “do better,” etc. And I got talked out of it. And sure enough, I only had to fire her later. But in my case, what I was going to fire her for, she changed and corrected that behavior — but then she started a new unacceptable one. So, I had to start a whole new documentation case against her; I had to give her “new” chances, and documented verbal and written warnings about this behavior. And I had a problem on my hands that much longer. So, have your documentation and believe in it. Go into the final conversation knowing it is the final conversation.
3. However, it is important not to confuse firmness with meanness. Be kind in telling someone that his or her position is being terminated — even if they were the worst performer. Aside from being fired for stealing, most people deserve the kindness during this time.
4. Walk the person out and be sure you have collected all keys, keycards, passwords, etc. Be sure to have turned off their e-mail accounts. We once had a manager terminate an employee and not walk him out. The terminated employee proceeded back to his desk to send out an e-mail to almost everyone in the company spewing out things about his termination, his manager, the company, etc. He should have been walked out and company access cut off.
5. Don’t promise a reference or favors out of guilt. When the next company hires the employee who then performs poorly, it is a bad reflection on your company’s judgment by giving a good recommendation.
6. Have information ready to answer the person’s questions. What happens to their medical insurance? What vacation money is owed to them? Out of respect for the person, all of that information should be prepared in advance to alleviate any worry on their part.
Having the wherewithal to terminate someone’s position — and on a side note, it’s important to word it as terminating their position, because you aren’t terminating them (see tip #1 for wording) — is really about remembering to be quick with the lead-in when telling them, to have the documentation to support it, to be firm and to be kind.
Even with all of this, there’s no guarantee someone won’t try to file against you for wrongful termination. Ultimately, if you think it is a dicey situation: i.e., you’re firing without proper documentation, you’re firing someone of a protected race, class, age group, etc. or you just have questions, use caution and consult a lawyer.
But with proper handling — and helpful feedback throughout the year — no one should ever be surprised if/when their position is terminated. If you’ve been consistent throughout, coaching and truly working to help your employees have good performance, no one will ever be surprised when they are terminated. And that makes your part of the unpleasant conversation even easier.
All in a Designer’s Day of Work
What does the career of an interior designer entail? Hanging a picture here, moving a couch there … it’s decorating and it’s easy, right? Not necessarily so. There’s a difference when it comes to designing a room.
“A decorator picks table settings, lamps — but is not a designer,” Leslie Kushner, IIDA, a designer in Southern California, and past president of International Society of Interior Designers, said.
Helen Babilla, ASID, of Babilla Designs in Chicago agreed, “Anyone can hang a picture or move a couch, but a designer knows why. They understand balance, harmony and function of putting pieces together.”
Interior designing is a career that combines creativity and style with knowledge of technical information to achieve an interior environment. They must comply with code and regulatory requirements along with picking out pretty furniture. “A certified designer can read blueprints, review building codes and pick the best of furniture, tile and fabrics,” Darla Blake, CID and ASID, of Unique and Chic in Studio City, California said.
A designer understands spatial concepts and can work on a project from the ground up with an architect to design and space plan rooms. This means that a room, from a design standpoint, can be much more aesthetically pleasing and practical.
“Maybe an entrance to the closet can be moved by just a few feet, or inches, and then the dresser that you want [to purchase] or already own will fit into the room. But if the entrance is off by just a couple of inches, it throws everything off,” Kushner said. “Or maybe an entrance to the room can be moved to provide the use of an entire wall. A designer can review architectural plans in terms of layout and placement.”
Designers spend much time earning certification to learn the technical knowledge necessary. Professional certification includes different requirements of experience, number of years in the field and two-day exams on spatial planning, among other concepts. CID is a Certified Interior Designer, which expands on the understanding of building codes, permit plans, and must be renewed every two years. Those that are ASID certified are part of the largest and most prestigious national society of designers who have passed rigorous examinations about designing. And IIDA is certification via the International Interior Design Association, an international organization of designers, with qualifying tests, as well. Many designers have combinations of the certifications.
(Kushner shared a humorous story of one designer who used PID after his name. When he was questioned further, the PID was discovered to be “professional interior designer” — a made-up certification because the designer thought he, too, should have initials after his name!)
Designers specialize in residential space, commercial locations, restaurants and more. Yet, they all seem to need the knowledge necessary to provide well-designed rooms. The National Council for Interior Design Qualification, on their Web site, lists some of the primary responsibilities of an interior designer as the following:
- Researching and analyzing the client’s goals.
- Formulation of preliminary space plans, and two and three dimensional design concepts based on the principles of interior design and theories of human behavior.
- Administration of contract documents, bids, negotiations on client’s behalf.
- Ensuring that space and design concepts are safe and functional, while being aesthetically pleasing, and meet all code guidelines.
- Selection of colors, textures, materials, furniture, equipment etc.
- Preparation of budgets and schedules for the project.
- Collaborating and working with other professionals on the project: architects, engineers, consultants, etc.
- Satisfying the client’s needs and wishes producing a desired interior space.
Hiring a designer is like hiring a financial planner, Babilla said. “You wouldn’t plan your future without a financial planner; you want their expertise and education … same with a designer and relying on the right person to help.”
An interior designer works to help others avoid costly mistakes. “Without a designer, there are common mistakes that people make.” Kushner said. For example, purchasing furniture without a plan. “Be sure to decide how the room will be arranged before you buy. That bargain sale may be the most expensive piece you’ve ever bought if it doesn’t fit.”
A designer will also guide in the use of trendy color (that you may be sorry about within just a few months) versus classic neutral colors that can be highlighted with color as an accessory. “Even neutrals have their trends, beige in/gray out … a designer guides to what is best for the room,” Kushner said.
She also stressed paint colors and the help a designer provides with that aspect of putting the room together. Designers have access to much bigger paint chips (than the average person) to hang on the wall to see how the color looks in the light of day, night, sun or storm. “Paint colors come in lots of different shades. I understand at least sixteen thousand variations of color are discerned by the human eye,” Kushner said.
Blake said that many people may love a swatch of fabric, but they don’t have the eye to know that while it is beautiful at six inches, once it is stretched out to four feet on a couch, the pattern looks “atrocious” — and ruins the whole look of the room. “Hiring a professional designer is something you can’t afford not to do. A designer does it right the first time.”
Babilla talked about how the designer works to put all these colors together. “Perhaps you loved a sofa but once you get it home it doesn’t look good against the color of the wall, it’s off by just a bit, but enough that it doesn’t look good. It’s a designer’s job to prevent that from happening.”
And what is the affordability factor of hiring a designer? Many designers set up their own methods — yet there are some basic rules of thumb. A fee (whether hourly or project as a whole) for design services and a cost-plus-markup on items purchased. If a mirror is one hundred dollars, she may get a forty percent discount, mark it up, and charge the client $80. (Asking a designer for their specific discounts is acceptable — and ask if discounts exist for prepaying or if the designer has recently purchased anything in bulk. The bulk may have been purchased for another job, have leftovers, and you love the choice just as much as your original choice that costs a great deal more.)
A designer should be prepared to be interviewed by potential clients. And while doing so, should be more than happy to show off their work. Clients should ask to see work the designer has completed within the last three to six months. “And [they should] go to the homes, feel the warmth of the room in person, it looks and feels different than in a picture,” Blake said. (She said she often tells people to ask their potential designer a silly question on purpose to see a reaction. If a designer is condescending, it isn’t the person to work with on your project.)
While designers are entitled to charge for the initial consultation many decline to do so. “It’s an interview,” Kushner said. “It’s a time to see if we both feel comfortable with each other. And then there’s no obligation.”
A designer gives their client a letter of agreement and goes through the steps that will be covered in designing the room(s). They often provide a billing invoice every two weeks to allow the client to keep tabs on their budget. “People should always be aware of how much they’re spending,” Babilla said.
Blake, who during the last eleven months completed a fifteen-thousand-square-foot home, with seven bathrooms, said to be honest with the designer about your budget. “One of the biggest things I find is that people think the budget should be the best kept secret. Perhaps because they think the designer will spend it all if she knows she has it — but a good designer won’t spend more than she has to.”
All of the designers interviewed about what the career of interior designer entailed, talked about the respect of the intimacy level between the family and the professional; it is very high on the scale. A designer will ask and need to know about much of the client’s life — from underwear drawers to bathrooms, all bases are covered.
“You have to ask and know, ‘Are the kids allowed on the furniture? Is the dog? How do you live your life? Do you sleep in the same bed? Do you stand at the sink and eat?’” said Blake. “But that’s part of what I love, is at the end, feeling like part of the family.”
So yes, the interior designer must possess creative knowledge (good taste), technical knowledge (everything from space planning to which lighting fixture provides the right type of light), organization and project management skills (keeping the project running smoothly), budget skills (as in staying within the client’s requested financial needs), people skills (working with all of the other professionals on the project), to name just a few. It isn’t just about hanging pictures and moving couches.
“Most people want their own sense of style reflected in their environment,” Kushner said. “A good designer works like a chameleon, showing the person’s style, but with the expertise of a professional.”
Babilla agreed. “It isn’t about us. It involves learning so much about the person for whom you are designing the room. It’s a fun, challenging and so rewarding when at the end of the project, people love their space.”
Various programs around the country provide the necessary training should this be a career you are interested in pursuing. Visit: www.asid.org, www.ncidq.org and www.iida.org for more information.
*Starting in April, designer Helen Babilla will offer tips about interior design and answer any questions about your rooms in the new Savvy Smarts section. Please feel free to send in questions (which may be edited for length and grammar) about your space to . See you in the designing room!
I Can’t Talk to You Right Now … You’re Too Angry
We’ve all been there. We think we’re approaching a simple topic with someone and while doing so, the other person blows up in anger and rage. And somehow, we’ve become the recipient of an “anger release.”
So what should we do when we find ourselves in a conversation with another that has escalated, and that person has become extremely angry?
“That’s an interesting question,” Art Bowler, a licensed psychologist who practices in New York City, said. “Usually when someone is so angry, it’s not the best time to have lengthy discussions about the issue.”
He explained that the person is coming from an emotional place, not a logical one, and it is difficult for the person to reason at that point in time. “Emotional states are not always the most logical,” he said. “It’s an emotional energy that may not be accurate.”
In technical terms, Richard Blackmon, a practicing psychologist in Southern California, said, “When we are flooded with powerful emotions, such as anger, the neural pathways bypass the cortex, the thinking part of our brain.” Because they instead head for the midbrain structures, it puts people in the instinctive mode of fight or flight … it is a self-protective mode.
“So we literally respond when flooded without thinking, only self-protecting,” Blackmon said.
But that doesn’t mean just because we may understand the brain physiology behind the other person who is yelling at us, we have to put up with it.
“When the other person gets angry, it’s not the best time to communicate,” Bowler said. “When the person is yelling you can say, ‘I hear you yelling.’ Be sure to use ‘I’ statements. You should validate their emotions: ‘I can see that you’re angry, but I believe that this is not the best time to talk about it.’ Because it is actually better for both parties to get some distance to gain perspective, and to step away to see the full picture.” You can consider it a time-out for both of you to help calm down and see clearly.
Bowler said to then suggest a specific day or time to come back and work through the issues. Because sometimes after the person cools off, everyone pretends like nothing happened. The angry person released so she feels better. And then the recipient of the anger doesn’t want to bring it back up to either “rock the boat” or have to go back through another tirade. But the topic must be revisited and addressed.
The anger someone has inside probably isn’t even about the current issue; it’s a buildup of past issues. “It may be fueled by the past and may be unrelated to the present issue,” Bowler said. And by not setting a time to discuss (so that you are obligated to re-discuss), the issues will continue to build. “It then gets even harder to deal with,” Bowler added.
“Anger escalates because that person wants to do what they want when they want,” Bowler said. “It is energy that is being thrown or pushed out. For that particular person, it may be hard for her to wait to discuss the issue because there is a sense of familiarity about the intensity.” However, the person has to learn to deal with those feelings. Their anger is their anger. They don’t get to project it out onto someone else.
One approach not to take is to start yelling back. “Because then you also start coming from an emotional place.” Bowler said. Then neither of you is relating to the current issue, it just becomes more about unresolved past issues, as well as an “arguing match.” “Sometimes in the moment, because people want to be ‘right,’ individuals bring up past unresolved issues that were never worked out. Then it becomes too confusing to know what anyone is truly talking about.”
Of course, assessing the violence issue is of utmost importance. We’re assuming here it is a “yelling fest.” But should there be any hint that something could become violent, the first important step is just getting out and getting yourself to safety.
Different people deal with their anger in different forms. Some internalize it and become depressed or anxious. Some have bodily symptoms, etc. Others release it. “Some people, often those who grew up in high-intensity situations where the home environment was abusive or hostile, experience anger and get a ‘rush’ of sorts from it. It’s all about adrenaline. The anger and its intensity well up and want to be acted upon,” Bowler said.
If you find yourself in conversation with someone who is continually angry when you want to talk about issues, Bowler said it might be that the person is not willing or able to deal with her feelings. “Maybe this person needs a little more help with handling her feelings than someone like you can give. Some people want to rage; raging is a release from which they gain comfort. Some like the comfort. But it is not a good stress release, because it becomes a familiar intensity. That’s when it becomes dangerous, and could possibly lead to abuse.”
What if you are reading this and say, “I’m the one who is always getting angry.”
Bowler said, “If you always find your anger escalating, if you’re always on edge … the first good step is that you notice it.”
He suggests writing about what you are angry about. Get the release onto paper. And if you also journal in “non-angry moments,” you can notice patterns in your thoughts and feelings. You might feel a release from getting things out and onto the paper. And you should talk to someone. You can talk to friends, who can be helpful, but friends are not always the best because they don’t always know how to get down to reasons. Bowler suggested finding someone objective, like a therapist who can help identify underlying causes: depression, anxiety or irritability.
Blackmon said if we can acknowledge when we are “flooded,” then we can take time to slow down, which is helpful.
Some anger is healthy. Perhaps you didn’t get the promotion you wanted (and deserved) and work. “It’s okay to be angry,” Bowler said. “Anger is often about an injustice we feel has been committed against us. If you are angry, express it.”
It’s just about not releasing it onto another person. “If you have to yell, go into the woods and scream … scream into a pillow,” Bowler said.
Exercise is another great way to relieve anger, too. “Get your heart rate up,” he suggested. “Exercise is a natural antidepressant … releasing serotonin.
“Anger can be good. It can propel us to take action and make changes. It can be a good motivator for good things,” he said. “Many successful people have used feelings of anger to drive them to success.”
He also suggested good old fashioned talking: “Sometimes talking helps. You need to rant.” It’s when we take it out by yelling and projecting onto another person that it becomes an unproductive way to communicate.
“Individuals have choices of what to do with anger,” Bowler said. “We may not have a choice of feeling angry. We may say, ‘I’m angry, I wish I wasn’t, but I am…’ But we do have the choice of what to do with it.” And we have choices of how to treat others by not releasing our anger onto them or having to be the recipient of such.
So, when we find ourselves in conversations with angry people, we should remember to take care of ourselves. Whether it is we or someone else, angry yelling never leads to productive outcomes. Coming back to discussions when things have cooled down will help communication find its purpose.
Dr. Bowler can be reached at www.drartbowler.com; Dr. Blackmon can be reached at 818.889.1823.
The Beginning of Something Good: Pauline Lewis
When most people backpack overseas, they come back with a suitcase of souvenirs. When Pauline Lewis returned from her trip in Asia almost four years ago, she brought back ideas. She was going to start a handbag company … and she’d do so by working with the Vietnamese women in the co-ops.
After spotting a beautiful bag in the window of a shop in Southern Vietnam, Pauline approached the owner, Le Thi Hong Tu (known as Hong Tu), who also happened to be the designer of the piece. The result of this encounter was a collaboration born between two women — one from the East, one from the West.
“Here I was in a backpacker’s outfit and my sneakers, talking to this woman about working together,” Pauline said. “The quality of the handmade products in her shop stood out from the hundreds of shops that I saw. I knew I had to persuade her to work with me. It did take another trip to convince her I was serious; and probably six months for her to truly trust that I really wanted to work with her.”
Once the two joined forces, they named their company oovoo (pronounced ö-vö), from the Latin word “ovo” meaning from the egg, from the beginning. Each bag is handcrafted and hand-embroidered with their signature scrolling colorful designs created by Pauline and Hong Tu.
This partnership between the two women has grown to support more than 500 women in Vietnam. The company employs 120 full-time workers in the southern region and several hundred part-time employees in the North, who embroider the bags.
“Once Hong Tu and I agreed to work together, we traveled to the embroidery villages together and started training them on our designs and our process,” Pauline said. “Many of the women were already familiar and skilled in hand-embroidery and it was just a matter of showing them our unique design.”
The two then appointed one of the women to act as a liaison and administrator of the process. “It took about six months to set up a more formal process,” Pauline said, who resides in Virginia. “But now that it is in place, Hong Tu visits the cooperatives once every two months and I visit twice a year.”
The bags can take up to 20 hours to make, as no machines are used and each one is unique. The women employed are paid 15 percent above market rate as well as receiving a month’s salary as a bonus during the Vietnamese New Year.
“Owning your own company, you get to decide how to run it, who you employ and how you can sleep at night,” Pauline said. Working with only women-owned businesses and vendor companies, the creator of oovoo works to “build a business model based on positive working relationships among women.”
“It’s hard to explain without clichès — but I truly believe it is my personal responsibility to improve my own life through improving the lives of others around me,” she said.
Pauline said that she knew she wanted to work with women’s co-ops when starting this project. “I have lived in and traveled to many parts of Asia: Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Taiwan, China, Japan, India, Nepal. And most Asian countries are doing much better than they were 30-40 years ago … the few that have been left behind are a stark contrast. Vietnam is one of those countries, yet the people there don’t complain and they work very hard to make a better life for their children.” She said that she never hears “we’re so poor;” she hears, “If I work harder, will you help me?”
“It’s a balance,” Pauline explained of the choice to employ these women overseas. “I can’t bite off too much. I sometimes wake up and think, ‘I’m responsible for the 500 women and their financial wellbeing.’”
But she and Hong Tu work hard to keep the women employed. They design together, even though they are so far away from each other. While Vietnam has very little access to magazines or current trends, Pauline, here in the States, is able to look at magazines, pattern books, and said she is very inspired by art deco, geometric shapes and textile designs.
“I sit down and just start drawing,” Pauline said. “I look at current trends as a springboard for what goes inside the embroidered designs. From season to season it depends …” She said she understands what American women like in terms of colors, concepts, styles and shapes. And Hong Tu is able to refine the detailing of the designs and carry out the visions, as she is an artisan by nature. Together, they create new signature designs each season.
Pauline, a former market research executive for big Fortune 100 companies, not only brings artistic and trend knowledge, she brings business knowledge. In the beginning days of the company a few years ago, she was traveling overseas to help manage the process. Now, she’s able to concentrate on travel here in the U.S. for the company. She said one of the biggest challenges is to keep the company profitable and keep the heart of the reason of why it was started. She said she also wants the bags to speak for themselves, while keeping the company feeling very personal. “I pack the bags myself,” Pauline said of the personal touch.
Pauline wanted and achieved a full circle network of support for the women of Vietnam by the women in the U.S. and vice versa by owning an artisan company that she knew she wanted to start. “I knew I would work with something [artistic],” she said. She pondered pottery, belts, scarves, and then saw the handbag in the window to confirm it would be that direction. And the handbags are beautiful one-of-a-kind pieces in the process. “And every woman needs one,” Pauline said. “There are no sizes involved and there are relatively few import restrictions, it’s practical for all.”
Each panel of the bags are embroidered separately with silk thread and then all of the panels are sewn together. Bags are made from a synergistic mix of cotton, polyester, silk, leather and suede. They are fully lined with inside pockets.
“My favorite bags — I have two — the Baroque Baggy, which I carry during the spring and summer and the Piazza Messenger, which I carry in the fall/winter seasons,” Pauline said.
This handbag creator carries a lot more. She holds her dream and the dreams of others, as well.
Global Reading: Eliza Woloson
For many of us the book “Oliver Twist” was just a mandatory read in grade school. For a small village in Indonesia, it was one of three prized books in their “English library” as Eliza Woloson, founder of Global Education Fund, discovered about nine years ago.
“I remember specifically the three books,” she said, referring to the torn half copy of “Oliver Twist,” a high school economics books and a copy of a book about President Suharto.
Studying as an anthropologist, Woloson was staying in a small remote area of Indonesia studying the indigenous people when she was invited to view this library that filled the locals with pride. After this experience, she went on to found the nonprofit Global Education Fund in 1998, which distributes books, with the help of many volunteers, into the hands of some of the most vulnerable children in the world.
The Global Education Fund provides books for orphans between the ages of seven and seventeen. According to the statistics on the organization’s Web site: After age seven, it is unlikely that an orphan will ever be adopted; and children’s books are virtually nonexistent in orphanages.
Prior to studying in Indonesia, Woloson had spent time in China. “When I lived in China for a year, I had brought a number of books with me and all the kids would come knock on my door and ask to read them,” she said. When Woloson returned from China, she worked as a special events coordinator at The Tattered Covered Book Store, where she made “connections” that would serve well for starting the organization.
All of these experiences set the stage in leading Woloson to eventually find she wanted to give books to children who otherwise could not find access to them. Because of the impact Indonesia had on the birth of the organization, she wanted that locale to be the first project. “But because of the political situation and the cost of travel, we decided to make Nicaragua our first project,” she said.
So, she organized the sending and delivery of books to a cluster of orphanages in Nicaragua. About the impact after the first delivery, she said, “I’m an anthropologist; I’m trained to doubt, to constantly ask questions. But when I went to Nicaragua and asked one boy to tell me about the books, his eyes lit up. He had never had these types of resources there. He showed me his favorite books.”
These books not only allow children to read, they can also provide hopes and dreams. “This little boy told me he dreamed of being an author,” Woloson said. And she said that as he pointed to the back flap of the book to the author’s picture, he told her, “That should be me.”
She also said that when the little boy told her, “Books allow me to visit places I would never have the chance to go,” that the anthropologist in her was convinced this was a worthy project. “I thought this was a small amount of effort,” she said. “The books were donated, the labor was volunteers …”
So that the right books get into the right hands, the organization conducts “needs assessments” around the world to determine who needs what and where. “We first listen; we have to know what types of books and in what languages,” Woloson said. “In Spanish-speaking countries, we only send books written in Spanish. Or in India, we found that it was science books that were requested. One of the blunders in the history of international aid is not listening to the needs of the community.”
This year India is the recipient country of the book deliveries. There is a woman there, Suman, Woloson explained, who volunteers and helps with the literacy programs for the children. “She is an advocate for kids in bonded labor. She takes them in; these are kids who were slaves in a stone quarry. There is one girl, 11 years old, who started “working” there at the age of four carrying stones on her head. She is shrunk in size, and has neck problems because the stones pushed her neck down. Her survival is phenomenal. But she is uneducated.”
Suman houses the children and rehabilitates them — rehabilitation that includes “empowerment and literacy.” (Click here to watch a powerful video about children learning to read in India: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4389153349922587968)
“Literacy is a tool for empowerment,” Woloson said. “It is a tool for reenergizing the kids and building a community.”
This year Kenya will undergo a needs assessment and in 2008 the children will receive their books. Thailand or Nepal is on the agenda for 2009. It is organized, Woloson said, so that it is systemically done to ensure the most success.
Global Education Fund has developed and supplied books to 53 literacy centers in 21 countries, delivered more than $1.5 million in books and services, and has served more than 16,000 children since 1998.
To fill the gap between books donated and books needed, the Global Education Fund purchases books at a discount. Once books have been collected at the Global Education Fund headquarters in Boulder, Colorado they are shipped to the orphanages.
Woloson credits the success of the organization to the volunteers, which includes the local people, heads of the various orphanages and Peace Corp volunteers within the recipient countries who conduct needs assessments and then ensure the books reach the hands of the children; they also then teach the children to read. “I can’t reiterate enough,” Woloson said, “how grateful I am to so many volunteers who have donated so generously.”
Other volunteers include book companies who donate hundreds and hundreds of books, the people who send in checks to buy books and the many volunteers in the home area of the organization in Colorado. There is also Izze Beverage Company, a major partner with Global Education Fund, which provides the book trailer that collects the books from schools while also educating the children about the orphanages.
And while continuing the core piece of the foundation (assessing and distributing), Global Education Fund is also looking to give scholarships to children in orphanages for continued education programs. Woloson is hopeful of what is still yet to be accomplished.
“When we educate the children in the orphanages,” Woloson said, “they are more likely to become contributing members of the community.”
Learn more at www.globaleducationfund.org./p>
Bug Wrangling at Its Finest: Michele Pollack
Most people see a bug and get squeamish. Michele Pollack, (aka a bug wrangler), merely sees them as “characters” in a movie she’s working on.
Pollack literally works with insects and other critters on movies, commercials, music videos, etc. “I love this job and I’m passionate about the bugs,” Pollack said with simple enthusiasm. “It’s second nature.”
She said she immediately took to the work after another bug wrangler, Steve Kutcher, approached her eighteen years ago to help with a butterfly on the movie set of “Cold Heaven,” where she was working as a stand-in for Talia Shire. She’s been with the insects ever since. And, she and Kutcher still work together getting bugs to behave on cue.
Recently, Pollack worked on the movie “The Hitcher,” where she said she “prepped spiders and wrangled scorpions.” The scorpion was to walk up a shoe and snap. Her job is to place it on the ground to be able to do the shot (and make sure the actors are safe). “You have to know how to work, it takes years of experience to make sure you know the lighting, that you’re not in the shadows, because you’re on your knees in a cramped little spot,” she said of filming the scene. And the scenery is everything. “When you put him (the scorpion) on the dirt, it has to look the same every take; every pebble, every line in the dirt has to be the same, so you have to be sure you also pay attention to those things, too.”
Is she scared? “You can’t think of being scared,” the bug gal said, confidently.
Also in the film she was in charge of making a spider “move.” “There’s a web on the door, so you blow through a straw and give it a little movement,” she said. But, it does take skill to ensure the web doesn’t break and is barely touched.
Pollack, for as long as she can remember, has always loved bugs. Her first pet was a snail at the age of five. If she ever finds bugs in her home, she lets them go. Unless, of course, they are the bugs she keeps in her house for movie shoots. “I have some here at home, in terrains …” She keeps a butterfly net in her car and vials to keep critters in, should she happen to come across them in her travels.
Her love of what she does also extends to her “day job” as well. A teacher in Los Angeles for autistic children, Pollack knows a lot about patience and understanding from many perspectives. “I feel very fortunate,” she said of her work with the children. “If I can make an impact on their lives, I’m happy. It’s so rewarding and I learn a lot from the students.”
She is able to teach by day and bug wrangle by night or weekends. (And there’s also summer vacation, too.) Her resume of projects, to name just a few, is fascinating:
She has worked on the once-television series “Now and Again” with hundreds of butterflies; “I was in butterfly heaven,” she said. There was also the film “Matilda” with Danny DeVito; “he’s something else.” She worked with Sigourney Weaver on “Copycat;” “she’s a trooper. We reassured her that she would not be harmed by the carpenter ants, but I was. One crawled up my pants and I never told her.”
She said her favorite was working with Dick Clark on his once-television show “The Other Half;” “It was wonderful just to meet him …” she said. There’s the series “House” where they used hundreds of wax worms in a scene; “I loved it.” She’s worked with Christina Aguilera on her music video; “I placed large moths all over her body and dress, she was a pleasure to work with, very professional.” There were the music videos with Gwen Stefani, with Bush, and several other artists. There were the hundreds of grasshoppers, crickets and other bugs on the X-Files; “the set was chirping all night, tons of fun.”
Pollack also worked on the film “Spiderman.” (In fact, Pollack got her picture taken on the set and was part of the Spiderman game card set.) She worked with the spiders. The type of spider that was cast (to bite Tobey Maguire’s character) was chosen for its shape and size, but was the wrong color. So, Pollack helped create a small harness out of foam and tape to gently hold the spiders (they needed more than one for all the scene takes) in order to paint them the correct color. “We painted the spiders without hurting them, it was very gentle,” Pollack said of the process.
Pollack also worked on that Nike commercial a few years back where 40,000 ants (yes, 40,000) ran across a gymnasium on cue. For every retake, Pollack was out there scooping up the ants with brushes and containers to recapture them to be able to re-release them for each shot. “It was filmed downtown (L.A.) at The Greek Theatre and it was a big challenge. We worked with thousands of ants — we had to be two steps ahead of them or else!”
Incidentally, there’s a casting process to ensure that the bugs “cast as stars” in any of these movies or videos are truly worthy and beautiful: all bugs are not the same. “If I’m collecting cockroaches, I have to make sure they have nice antennas for the close-ups,” Pollack said. “Bees have to have the best wings, the best legs … the tarantula has to have the nicest amount of hair … The stars are the heros.” And, the list goes on … if an ant has to run straight in a shot, she will look at the ants to see which ones run the straightest…
Her own personal favorite insect is the praying mantis. “It has this diamond shape and it is robotic; it moves its head back and forth as if in conversation.” But after talking with this bug gal, she seems to love all of the critters. “I’m passionate about my bugs,” she said. And she said she loves what she does.
“The greatest joy of all is being able to get the shots that are needed to make everything come alive, that’s the challenge,” the savvy wrangler said. “Regardless if it is a feature film, music video, movie for TV or a commercial, the reward is getting it right and that makes all the difference!”
Dressing Others for Success: Joi Gordon
Most of us know and believe the theory: If you look good, you feel good. And we can head to our closets to pull out our best suit, which makes us feel good, for the meeting with the board of directors.
The organization Dress for Success makes that experience possible for other women, too. Joi Gordon, CEO of the worldwide division, oversees the marketing and fundraising of the 81 affiliates of this nonprofit organization.
“Dress for Success’ mission is to assist disadvantaged women to obtain professional attire, while also providing them with a network of support and career development tools for work and life,” Gordon said. There’s a “boutique” in nearly every major city, including a few overseas, with hopes for more. More than 50,000 women have been served by the programs.
The organization only sees the women after they have worked with an agency coaching and teaching them how to find a job. So, when they arrive at Dress for Success, they’ve already done the work — they already have a first interview lined up. Therefore, the organization can choose the “power suit” appropriate for the field in which they are interviewing.
These are women who have been unemployed for a long time; their self-esteem is low and they need direction, Gordon said. This is important to recognize because it most likely translates to a poor interview, especially if they show up not looking the part. “These are women who are coming out of prison, shelters, recovery programs — but they want to work,” Gordon said.
They’ve done the skills to land the job, now they need the right outfit,” she said. “But we don’t just dress up the outside, we also dress up the inside, too.” The volunteers who work in the boutiques pump these women up with confidence. Gordon said the job-seeking women try on suits and accessories, and “the light goes on in their eyes.” They begin to see themselves ready on both the outside and the inside.
The women may “come in with their head down, not certain; but they leave with a smile on their face because someone genuinely cared about them. No one asked them questions about why they are unemployed. We only say ‘I believe in you,’ ‘How do you feel?’” Gordon said, adding that it means a great deal to them that someone believes in them and listens to them. “You say to a woman, ‘I know you’ll get a job’ and it is magical to watch the transformation.
“This works because people slow down and care for each other. It’s an exchange between two women who don’t know each other, yet cry together and care about something together. It’s beautiful, it works,” Gordon said.
Gordon said she especially relates because although she had a wonderful father, she was raised by a single mom. “My mom made me her priority, I was the reason she was so driven. I see a lot of my mother in these women; they, too, want to be successful for their children, and for themselves.”
Because of the partnerships with other companies, which are what Gordon works to cultivate and maintain, there are a lot of donations that are able to allow these boutiques to provide attire to these women. Dress Barn alone, for example, will donate 8,000 suits this year; last year, they donated 6,000.
Each woman leaves with one new piece, whether it is the suit itself, or a necklace, a pair of shoes — something is new when she walks out the door. After she lands the job, the newly employed gal is able to return for a week’s worth of clothing.
Gordon said her favorite part of her job is working with these women in the boutique. “There is nothing I don’t love about my job,” she said. “But I wish I could spend less time fundraising and more time with the women. I most love the daily interaction with women to see the transformation within 30 minutes. I feel like I am making a difference.”
Gordon became involved in Dress for Success after seeing the organization on the news several years ago. “I knew I could donate suits,” she said. At the time, the now-CEO was an attorney with nonprofit experience, and practicing in the court system. She practiced law from 1993 to 1997, and then moved to the nonprofit court programs to work with victims of crimes, where she worked for two years.
But donating her suits wasn’t enough for her. She went on to join the organization and in less than five years was working as CEO of the worldwide division. “I wanted to do something,” she said.
And “do something” she has. Gordon is credited with spearheading a re-branding of the organization, which included a new mission statement, tagline and logo. Her leadership has guided the company to expand programs focusing on retention by providing skill workshops. The organization has a full career center, seminars for “101″ classes and also more advanced programs for those who graduate from the basic skills classes. There are computers, books, resources and partnerships with major job skill companies to continue to provide support.
Gordon also stays busy by serving on the board of directors of Urban Brands, the parent company of both the Ashley Stewart and Marianne retailers; she also is on the advisory board for the nonprofit organization My Daughter’s Keeper and Westchester Community College Retail Board of Advisors. She also is a member of the national nonprofit organization Leadership America, which annually explores the challenges of effective leadership with 100 women of accomplishment and commitment. One of her most rewarding experiences as a volunteer was serving as Principal for a Day in the New York City Board of Education as part of the PENCIL program.
As for her work with Dress for Success, she said, “I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m helping others to be successful.”
She described the programs and resources for retention as a “safety net” to confirm the women will not fail. “This is more than a closet; we want to keep women employed,” Gordon said.
“But, clothing is an important step,” she added. “Because, if we have great clothing, we smile, we feel different. A suit is a symbol of success, especially if it’s your first suit.”
Find more information about donating your own suits and/or starting a boutique in your area at www.dressforsuccess.org; visit lia sophia jewelry as they are donating a portion of each sale of the mystical necklace to the organization at http://corporate.liasophia.com/cause.html
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